Fading away fuyu no kurai silhouette
by Genjo Sanzo 1
Summary: YAOI, AU Somewhere in the metropolis, two souls have met. Somewhere, the darkest memories burst out. Desperate struggling and lying are useless, until everything is too late... until the night is gone... SanzoXGoku -- When something seems to proceed?
1. FILE: 001 '1'

  
  
  
Urgh. I don't know what came in my mind... I should be updating my other stories (in particular SSN... I'm so sorry ne) and more than that I really should be studying for my exams, surely NOT stay in front of the computer typing an other fic... an other sucking and useless fic... sorry, sorry, sorry... please forgive me ne...   
  
I thank the very kind and nice persons who got worried about me. I give a too big thank you to: **Gallatica-shi**, **Am1-13th-san** and **Konzen-san** (ok, I know Konzen-san doesn't read yaoi...). I owe you one, gals. But please, don't worry about me. I'm just a stupid and an idiot, I don't deserve it, plus I don't want you to lose your precious time. It's ok. Take care ne? Ja...   
  
  
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_~"The smile of dawn  
arrived early May  
she carried a gift from her home"~_   
  
  
  
  
  
"No," Genjo Sanzo snorted to himself while gazing with REMARKABLY peeved air at his non-progressing work on the LCD display of the laptop opened in front of him and giving vent to part of his burning anger with mighty clicks at full speed on the left button of his black infrared mouse. It was not possible, you understand, it was not _mathematically_ possible that on the face of the earth could exist someone such idiot, stupid, annoying, tiresome and chatty, and above all it was even more impossible that that noisy load of foolishness were in his house. He had known that damned golden-eyed boy only for a week, but he already was feeling that he had had enough of him for this life, the next, the next-next and the one after.   
  
  
  
"That's ENOUGH!!!" he eventually burst while the values of the limit towards which his patience was trending were more and more getting closer to the negative infinity, "SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL YOU, STUPID SARU!!" he thundered seizing the first object within reach on the desk and flinging it at the youth who was airily walking back and forth in his study reading aloud the history lesson.   
  
  
  
"Oooow-- HEY!!! THAT HURT!!!!" the other, nettled, said picking up from the floor the big white rubber which had hit him above the temple. "Why did you do it, Sanzo??"   
  
  
  
"And you ask me!!" Sanzo sent him a ferocious look, "I told you 2,940 times to shut up, here there's someone who has to write a thesis, for your information!" he yelled casting a glance at his work which, since when Goku had begun to come to his place everyday after the school and the part-time job, was proceeding VERY, VERY, VERY slowly.   
The trouble was that Sanzo knew well what he had to do if he wanted to be able to type in peace: it would have been sufficient not open the door to Goku, not let him in, not answer when he ringed the bell-- yet... yet he couldn't do it, and each evening Goku regularly was in his flat, "Sanzo I've come to visit you!" he used to say all cheerful when the blond asked him with _icily voice_ what the heck he was doing there again. The more Sanzo tried to understand what prevented him from throwing that plaintive saru out, the more he got angry for not finding a reason, with consequential increase of his I'm-too-stressed-and-not-even-I-can-sleep super headache. About a thing Sanzo was sure, tough: the reason had nothing, I repeat, absolutely NOTHING to do with the quick kiss that he and Goku had shared the day after having met, or all the less with the longer and deeper one of the following evening.   
  
  
  
"But uff, Sanzo!" the saru was whining massaging the injured head. "Reading aloud when I study helps me to memorize! I can finish in much less time!"   
  
  
  
"Then go study in an other room and close the doors, damn it!"   
  
  
  
"Noooooooo!!! Sanzoooo!! I want to stay with youuuu!! Ne Sanzo!!" Goku raised his immense and limpid golden eyes on the older man.   
  
  
  
"Ch'..." the other said bringing the flame of the lighter to the end of the cigarette that he had just sticked in his mouth. "If you want to stay here, sit down, shut up, and don't dare disturb me, otherwise you're dead. Got it, saru?" he threatened putting on his reading glasses which corrected his very slight short-sightedness.   
  
  
  
"But--" Goku attempted one last complaint which he stopped immediately tough, owing to the hypermegatronic-fearful-death-glare that withered him on the spot. Sanzo kept on scowling at the kid until the latter, with resigned air, sat cross-legged on the floor covered with the green moquette, with the schoolbook opened in one hand and a stub of a pencil in the other, the face concentrated in an attempt to decipher something very probabily too much incomprehensible for his limited monkey brain.   
  
  
  
Grumbling for irritation, the golden-haired man resumed the thread of his work trying to exploit to the utmost the few minutes of silence that, he knew, wouldn't last long. Not in the least in fact his threats, his spurting-homicial-instincts glares, his explicit requests for silence or the blows of his stiff note-folder were effective: if they could silence Goku it was just for the time he needed to write two succint lines or to quickly consult a half-page of the notes.   
  
  
  
Besides, it seemed that the saru wanted at any cost to unremittingly stay with him: he followed him in every room he went, also when he went to the bathroom he waited for him out of the door, and if he had to go out to buy, for example, the cigarettes, he walked with him, without in the meanwhile stopping the babble for a moment. Genjo Sanzo knew he was the only graduand in the entire chemical engineering course who could boast of knowing thoroughly all the various ranges of produces sold in the music shop where Goku worked three afternoon a week, all the details about his imminent high-school-leaving examinations as well as the complete list of monkeys' favourite foods, with a special mention for the sweets. "Urusai!" after a little time the exasperated blond used to shout with the neurons in full homogeneous endothermic reaction, and right down an other strike with his folder, which shut Goku up the time necessary for the kid to come out of a daze. And just think that the first time they had met they had passed together about two hours without Goku saying a word.   
  
  
  
For Sanzo it was unbelievable that someone could address him so cheekily, that someone could dare his burning anger. Nobody had never ventured to take so much liberty with him; nobody had never ventured to get so close to him. The only person with whom the amethyst-eyed man accepted to interact were the collaborators at university, silent and intelligent persons who minded their own business and followed their projects, surely not some meddlesome and sniveller brats who nearly turned to him calling him "Sanzoooooo!!!".   
  
  
  
"Sanzoooooo!!!"   
  
  
  
That is, precisely.   
  
  
  
"Maybe it wasn't understood!" the fair-haired growled waving the white and brown folder, "I said shut up, is it clear? Or it is a too difficult concept, I have to explain it to you with some punches?"   
  
  
  
"But Sanzo, I'm hungry!"   
  
  
  
An other thing over which Sanzo couldn't get was the golden-eyed boy's voracity. He never stopped eating without being full, yet he was thin and also a bit short for his age. Sanzo had to lock the kitchen in order to arrive at the morning with something more in the refrigerator than half pot of coffee-yoghurt.   
  
  
  
"Really, Sanzo!! I can't bear it any more, I'm hungry!"   
  
  
  
"What does it mean, you're hungry?? You've just finished two packs of biscuits!"   
  
  
  
"That's it: they aren't enough for me!"   
  
  
  
"I don't care at all! And then, can you explain me how can you study if you are distracting every moment?"   
  
  
  
"But I can't study with an empty stomach!! Pleaseeeee!!"   
  
  
  
Sanzo chose to keep on staring indifferently at the flashing cursor on the screen, ignoring the little saru who was dancing around him undeterred whining and giving him the imploring eye.   
  
  
  
"Hush, you baka nagging saru!" he finally cried exasperated, cracking the boy's head with two folder-blows.   
  
  
  
"Itaiiiiiiii!!!! Sanzo!!! You are mean, mean, meaaaaaaan!!"   
  
  
  
The older man rolled his eyes bringing a hand on his face and then making it slide on the cheek as a prop, after having leant his elbow on the desk. "Listen, but you, don't you have a house?" he asked placing an other cigarette between his lips.   
  
  
  
"Eh? Of course I have, you know it" Goku answered puzzled, standing beside him.   
  
  
  
"So why don't you go back? It's also late" Sanzo said pointing to the night's dark sky out of the window.   
  
  
  
Goku immediately replied, "Because I like staying here! This house gives me calm and quiet!", a great smile lit up his open face.   
  
  
  
Sanzo stood up from the chair and leant against the external edge of the desk, parallel to the door. He raised an eyebrow, "This house gives you calm and quiet?" he asked turning a brief look to his very normal condominium flat, a sitting-room in the entrance, his bedroom, a narrow corridor, a bathroom, a kitchen with balcony and the little room that he used as study.   
  
  
  
Goku sent him a surprised glance, as if cast doubts on his preceding affirmation were a so strange thing. "Yes," he confirmed without exitation.   
  
  
  
Sanzo held the cigarette between the fingers of his right hand. "You really don't seem to me the type who needs calm and quiet" he said.   
  
  
  
Goku's expression changed within a second and his eyes suddenly darkened, like if a sad and at the same time enraged shadow had fallen upon him. "And what do you know?" he said harshly, looking the blond straight in the eyes. Then he turned his back on him, bending down to pick up the sheets with his notes that he had left lying about here and there. "Sorry" he quickly said, shoving by force the sheets in the schoolbag not caring about their conditions.   
  
  
  
Sanzo said nothing. Even if he didn't expect such a reaction he took good care not to show it, plus, he didn't find it a so strange reaction in consideration of the fact that Goku had tried to kill himself only some days ago. He followed with his eyes the eighteen-golden-eyed boy who had fastened the schoolbag and thrown it over one shoulder, making for the door. He already had the hand on the study's doorknob and was about to turn to greet Sanzo, when the latter anticipated him.   
  
  
  
"Are you going?" the purple-eyed man asked, with a cold frown.   
  
  
  
"I'm going," the other affirmed as much frostily, pulling on a light-weight orange jacket.   
  
  
  
Sanzo slightly bent sideways the head weighing up the figure of Goku from behind in front of him, soft short chocolate-hair with the fringe barely held back by a white band, the youthful and polished features which still kept the traits of the adolescence, the thin arms the colour of the bronze interrupted only by the black armband that Goku always wore a bit above the left wrist. He chewed a moment the cigarette stub, "Goku--"   
  
  
  
"I'm sorry" the other said, "I'm really sorry. Neh, see you!" the kid turned with an immense smile that Sanzo didn't had a hard job to recognize as false. Goku passed in corridor, "And don't overwork, mind you!" he added jumping to the front door and opening and reclosing it in a flash.   
Sanzo found himself in the darkness of his corridor staring at the brown door.   
  
  
  
He returned in the study and switched off the halogen lamp putting on instead the little one he kept on the desk; he pulled the curtains to the window, then he made a cup of coffee and at last he rearranged himself on the chair ready to resume the drawing up of his degree thesis which by now was languishing there from who-knows-how-much.   
While for the umpteenth time he pressed the cancel button, he called himself idiot moron infinite times for wishing it was already the late afternoon of the following day, when Goku would have come back.   
  
  
  
The day after Goku didn't show himself up.   
  
  
  
Not even the next one.   
  
  
  
  
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"Fuyu no kurai silhouette" means "Winter dark silhouette".   
  
I hope someone can forgive me. *bows*   
  
  
  



	2. FILE: 002 '10'

  
  
  
Sorry as usual. I'm hopeless.  
Last time I forgot the disclaimer. Obviously Saiyuki doesn't belong to me. The quotes between the tildes come from the song "Metropolis - part 1" by Dream Theater.   
  
  
  
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"KONBANWAAAAAAA!!!!!!"  
The walls almost rattled when Goku shrieked his greeting at the top of his voice, flapping his right arm in sign of waving. Cheerfully informing Sanzo about everything had happened to him that afternoon at the shop and about the various customers he had served, he entered the corridor, flinging the schoolback next to the white piece of furniture of the telephone and absent-mindendly tossing the jacket on it.   
  
  
  
"Ah, I'm simply starving! Sanzo, can I take some of those delicious biscuits you always buy, do you mind?" the kid got into the kitchen and came out of it afterwards with the tin of biscuits in one hand and two loose biscuits in the other, eagerly masticating.   
"...And then Sanzo, would you believe it! That man wanted to pay a single blank cassette which costs 150 yen with a banknote of 10,000 yen... and when I told him that I didn't have the change, that he had to go to the director's office to have it changed, he insisted saying he wouldn't move from there!! So I..."   
  
  
  
As silent as the grave, the eyes shadowed under the golden fringe, Sanzo had remained struck dumb standing in front of the entrance door which he had just closed. Without listening to even a word of what the saru was telling, he opened the door of the study. Took his folder. Closed the door of the study. Went back in the corridor. And started to savagely beat the kid.   
  
  
  
"BAKA SARU!!! What the hell do you start screaming 'konbanwa' in that way?? Have you decided to burst the whole neighbours' eardrums?? You fool! Idiotic, stupid, moronic baka saru!!" He shouted while banging with all his might, incapable of manifest in other way his relief for seeing again Goku safe and in form. It wasn't to be excluded, in fact, that the saru had retried again to kill himself and that this time he had succeeded in thoroughly going to the end.   
  
  
  
"Owowowow Sanzo -ow- please stop -ow- you are -ow- hurting me -ow!" Goku, on the floor, attempted to defend himself from the violent blows the best he could, but only after Sanzo had vented all his rage and worry (after a fair bit then) he let the golden-eyed boy go free and lowered the folder, heading for the study with an air concealing satisfaction and slamming the door.   
  
  
  
Not even three seconds later Goku, with his things and the biscuits in hand, threw it open yelling crazy. "You, violent blasted! What on the world came into-- hey, but what have you made inside here??" The teen stopped himself on the entrance of the study, which was shrouded by a thick pall of smoke similar to the cold winter fog. The transparent ashtray on the desk near the computer was more than full, empty packets of cigarettes were filling up the trash bin, and, moreover, Sanzo was still smoking!  
"But inside here you can't breathe, it seems a chimney!" Goku rushed to turn the handle of the window and made the glass partition slide, inhaling the crisp air of outside. "Why haven't you opened the window, Sanzo??"   
  
  
  
_"Baka, it's your fault!"_ Sanzo mentally sent him together with a death-glare, obviously without saying a word about his prolonged absence or asking for explanation. He had already almost punched himself when, instead of describe the data brought out with his research project of which he was drawing up the report, he had caught himself writing   
  
  
The saru   
  
  
is gone.   
  
  
  
And the best of it was that after having resolutely deleted those lines, he had written   
  
  
Goku   
  
  
  
he isn't here yet   
  
  
  
"Oh no damn it, but where is the physic book? Don't tell me I forgot it! No, it can't be! By now my turn to be tested is going to come, I must study... ah, here it is at last!" Goku all happy took out the grey book from the schoolbag, followed by the exercise book, the various loose note-leafs that were never in order, and all his wide repertoire of stationery which counted, among other things, a good five not-working pens apart from the four which could write, including a forest green and a sapphire one.   
Sanzo watched him out of the corner of his eyes from behind his laptop while he settled in his favourite place, on the floor in front of the glass wall.   
  
  
  
To Sanzo, that glass wall usually gave a terrible anxiety. Despite the sliding window was inserted more upwards, at about his waist, it started almost directly from the floor to arrive until the ceiling. Outside there weren't bars or railings: it would have been enough a rather strong swipe to break the glass and fall down, from the sixth floor. Who knows who the heck had had the grand idea of building a stuff like that, but more than anything else who knows who was that idiot who had approved the plan regardless of the safety. Useless people.  
Also when he was vacuuming, Sanzo tried to not going too close to it, and if he had to open the window he refrained from looking out.   
  
  
  
Goku instead loved sitting in front of it, to gaze at houses' roofs, the lighted windows, the little lights of the cars running on the main road a little far from the block of flats. There it is, this was an other thing that to Sanzo gave disquiet. Goku had remained very surprised, when he had known it.   
"Really looking at the cars on that street make you uneasy? And why???"  
There wasn't a rational explanation why that swarm of dots speeding on the asphalt got on Sanzo's nerves. It was like a something taking him inside and making him come the headache, mesmerizing him and chaining his gaze at the same time... and then he got angry and a great sadness emerged inside him; sure not comparable to the one of rainy days, but however palpable.   
  
  
  
For Goku it was all the contrary. "Instead, I like very much staring at those moving glistening lights, they are so beautiful! And then all around, the streetlamps, the trees, the shops with the signs, the persons coming and going... it gives me the idea of the life!" After having talked in this way he had closed his eyes and whispered in a very low voice: "I'd like so much... to close my eyes and just disappear, like those lights at the end of the street... to fade away, to vanish, and not to be here anymore."   
  
  
  
On the why Goku wanted to kill himself, Sanzo had not overly insisted, also because he himself had tried it at various times and knew the black and gripping desperation of someone who only wants to have it finished with everything and everyone. It seemed impossible to him, however, that that kid with those pure and sincere eyes, so happy-go-lucky and lively, harboured suicidal desires.  
After all, Sanzo knew very little about him: that he was at the last year of high school, that in about two months and a half he'd have had the exams (it was early April), that he lived alone after having left his grandparents' house. It was curious like Goku was an unstoppable chatterbox but never talked about himself, nor did he expatiate with particulars if Sanzo asked questions. He gave brief, concise answers, without going on with the conversation; at that point Sanzo let it drop as well, since however chatting didn't arouse his own enthusiasm particularly.   
  
  
  
"Were you born in this city?" he had asked him one day, while they were eating the dinner together (against his will Sanzo gave hospitality to him for the dinner, since the kid always left at a late hour).   
  
  
  
"Eh? No" Goku had answered without even raising the eyes from the plate of pie-au-gratin.   
  
  
  
"Where are you from?"   
  
  
  
"A bit lower down."   
  
  
  
"Your parents?"   
  
  
  
"I don't know, I've always stayed with my grandparents."  
Stop.   
  
  
  
One day Sanzo had asked about the colour of his eyes. It wasn't so strange, but it happened quite rarely that someone was born with the eyes of that colour. Still some superstitious persons discriminated the golden-eyed children, thinking they were takers of great misfortune, of disgrace.   
"Have you ever met anyone else with golden eyes like you?"   
  
  
  
Goku was eating a chocolate pudding and all of a sudden he had stopped with the teaspoon in hand. "No, never. Why?"   
  
  
  
"Nothing. You don't see around many persons with the eyes of your colour, but I thought that maybe among you, you knew each others." Indeed, it was a bit stupid thing.   
  
  
  
"No" Goku repeated before going back to stuff himself with the pudding. But to Sanzo hadn't escaped the quick dark flash laden with an indescribable feeling that for an instant had passed in the kid's eyes.   
  
  
  
  
  
"Sanzooooo...... ne Sanzoooooooo!!!!!"   
  
  
  
The saru's insistent and shrill voice pushed its way through Sanzo's mind concentrated on the work, distracting him with no possibility of way out. "You moron, I'm working, how many times do I have to repeat it???"   
  
  
  
"But, this exercise doesn't come off to me... I can't do it!" Goku whined flourishing a crumpled sheet of squared paper. "I've been trying to do it already for a while and I can't find the mistake!"   
  
  
  
Sanzo sighed with a resigned and very, very annoyed air, tearing the sheet out of the kid's hands and trying to understand something out among those jumbled scribbles.   
" 'Demonstrate that the effective value of an a.c. is equal to the maximum value divided by squareroot of 2' ," he read the wording of the physic exercise calling to mind the notions of the exams of general physic and all the various physics he had taken during his study course. "All right, simple. And you, how have you solved-- hey, what have you done here??" he goggled grabbing a pencil and starting to correct furiously, "what the heck of differential have you put here?? Look, the integral of the work W is done in dt, you baka! And then the alternating current works only for a half-cycle, so the integral is defined for [0,T/2], not [0,T], and here, you rewrote 'sin2wt' without changing into 'sinwT'!!" The purple-eyed man wrote quickly the whole right resolution on a blank sheet. "So, have you understood? Here you have to write this" he explained, "while here-- oi, just WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??!"   
  
  
  
Goku was standing beside him gazing at him in ecstasies, with interlaced hands and sparkling eyes in total adoration. "Wow, Sanzo!! But you are just too good!!" the boy said almost throwing himself at his feet.   
  
  
  
"BAKA, _YOU_ SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO DOES THESE EXERCISES!! HAVE YOU A TEST NEAR OR WHAT???" Sanzo almost killed him with the glare.   
  
  
  
"But physic is just too complicated, I've never understood anything of it!! It's too... practical!"   
  
  
  
"That's why you don't understand, you lack of practical sense, you idiot!"   
  
  
  
"And so, all the more reason, lend me a hand no?" he insisted. "Sannnnnzooooooo...... Sanzoooooooo...... oi, Sanzooo!!"   
  
  
  
But this time Sanzo didn't answer. With worried air the blond was skimming the notes in his folder, scattering the sheets, scanning the desk's surface. "Damn," he cursed.   
  
  
  
"Sanzo? ...What's happening?" Goku blinked at him not understanding.   
  
  
  
"Shut up! Damn, no... I can't have lost it... oh damn..."   
  
  
  
"What's that you've lost?"   
  
  
  
"Urusai! A very important sheet with some data, damn it! Don't tell me I put it by mistake with the waste-paper that I inserted in the shredder today at the university!! No, it can't be, hell--"   
  
  
  
"Hem, you might go tomorrow at the university and make an other copy" suggested Goku who had joined Sanzo in his search and was crawling about the floor to see if the sheet in question by chance had slipped down.   
  
  
  
"You don't understand!" Sanzo railed standing to examinate the desk's closets, "those were data accessible only for the restricted staff, it had been a hard appalling work to have the permission to have them printed out from that damned database of theirs!"   
  
  
  
Goku, on all fours on the moquette, stopped all of a sudden. "You mean those data are kept on the database of your university? So what's the problem, you only need to retrieve them from the internet" he said.   
  
  
  
Sanzo stared at him as if he wanted to eat him. "IDIOT," he slowly syllabized with the eyebrow twitching dreadfully. "I already told you that they are restricted data, can you explain me how can I take them? I don't even have the password for the public database, I surely can't enter 'such this!' in the 'secret' one, don't you think so?"   
  
  
  
"No? And why not?" Goku asked serious, looking straight at him. The amethyst-eyed man was about to definitively lose his temper, but he lost it even more when he saw the eighteen-years-old-boy who peacefully was sitting on the chair, taking his place in front of the laptop. "What the hell are you doing, saru!" he thundered with his eyes popping out of his head and the neurons already gone off at a tangent.   
  
  
  
"I'm connecting to the internet" Goku answered serious unwinding the coaxial cabling which he applied to the telephone intake behind the small wardrobe, the only other furniture present in the little room apart the desk. "Your laptop has the integrated modem, right? Yeah, it must be, since I don't see terminal adapters or xDSL modems, and for the wireless it's a bit too early. By the way, the net of your university is Peer-to-peer, LAN or WAN?"   
  
  
  
"Eh? WAN, I think. Yes, because it's on three different buildings" the blond initially answered caught rather unawares, forgetting for a moment his intention to seize by the scruff of the neck and hurling down from the chair the kid now busy with reading the stats of the transmitted, lost and retrieved packages on the ping of the Prompt.   
  
  
  
"By the way Sanzo, do you know which is the NOS of the post?" the golden-eyed asked typing something on the keyboard.   
  
  
  
"...The what??"   
  
  
  
"The operating system of the server. Hey, but you attend engineering or what?"   
  
  
  
"Watch it saru" said Sanzo who in reality didn't know what to say, "I don't know what you got to do into your head, but if you get to something, if you delete some files of mine in particular those who regard my thesis, I swear you really are done for."   
  
  
  
"Mhhh" Goku said concentrated on the screen. "Now we're entering the database... ne, it would be better to know with which program we'll have to deal. Sanzo, do you have an idea of which program had been used to build the database of your university?"   
  
  
  
"No," Sanzo said.   
  
  
  
"It doesn't matter, we'll discover it immediately."   
  
  
  
Sanzo was staring at Goku MORE THAN ASTOUNDED.   
  
  
  
The youth was chuckling, "What originality, it's one of the most used programs, and... less safe!!" he exclaimed with a huge grin printed over his face. "At this point I'd need a good port scanner, but I well imagine that you, Sanzo, don't have one and won't be very happy if I download it from somewhere. But no problem, I can effortlessly do it without it too."   
  
  
  
"What's that... I don't have...?" asked Sanzo, who by now had decided not to be surprised at anything more.   
  
  
  
"Well, in few words, every computer has a certain number of ports," Goku explained very cursorily while displaying the information_scheda.tables and finding the field with the name of all the server's tables. "Some of them are open, some close. The scanner finds out the ip addresses of particular ports, in this case 1433/1434, which are open, so you can break into the vulnerable server" he obtained a valid login name and got ready to discover the password. "But it's all right, we're almost there. It's so simple, look: you just need to do this..." Goku went on hacking enlightening Sanzo with detailed particulars about the various operations he was carrying out. "Look, now type this query!! The output will tell you that there's a syntax error converting the nvarchar value 'PASSWORD' to a column of data type int.! We'll get it!!! Next..." Of all his words, Sanzo was understanding more or less on average of five words on thirty: the prepositions, the articles and the conjunctions.   
  
  
  
"Bingo, we're in! Sure I didn't think it would be so simple!" cried in triumph Goku who, in less than five minutes, had been able to reach informations to which not even some departments leaders of the faculty were allowed to access. "So Sanzo, which data do you need?"   
  
  
  
  
  
"You are good with computers" Sanzo said after having restarted typing with in hand the printed sheet of the data which Goku had downloaded.   
  
  
  
"Mh" Goku answered. The kid had sat on the floor with the back against the external side of the desk, near Sanzo's legs. Strangely, he hadn't began to whine, to snivel or to ask for help yet: he was reading and underlining the physic lesson without saying a word, making fastly run the pencil on the book in order to underscore the almost totality of the sentences.   
  
  
  
Sanzo spied him furtively, hidden behind the LCD display. "What's the matter, saru? Are you hungry?" he eventually asked with insouciance breaking the silence, by now a rather odd condition for that room.   
  
  
  
Goku was giving him his back and seemed nearly to have a little startle when he heard his words; he abruptly turned and stared straight at him, as if not believing that, actually, the blond was talking with him.   
For a moment, Sanzo saw again the dark shadow dancing in those huge golden eyes and quickly running away, disappearing.   
  
  
  
"Oh yeah, I'm sooooooooo hungry!! Ne Sanzo, don't you have some other biscuits??" the boy asked garrulous with a big smile.   
  
  
  
"...What do you mean by that, _'some other biscuits'_?? Don't tell me you have already finished the tin I bought today afternoon, you ravenous animal!!"   
  
  
  
"Well, yes, for a good while..."   
  
  
  
"You idiot saru, your stomach hasn't limits!!"   
  
  
  
"Precisely, since you know it, feed me no??"   
  
  
  
"YOU CAN FORGET IT!! And anyway, my cupboard is empty, I have NOTHING to give you, understood??"   
  
  
  
"But for me it's enough also something small, something little little little..."   
  
  
  
"Cut it!! You are an insistent saru!!!"   
  
  
  
"Of course, one of the charachteristics of monkeys is never stop!!"   
  
  
  
"Ch'..." Sanzo gave him a very dirty look lighting a cigarette. "Sure you _really_ are a baka saru," he said while making for the kitchen, with Goku behind following him exultant.   
  
  
  
Sanzo truly had very little or nothing at all in the sideboard, but he all the same succeeded in taking out something from somewhere. He made a coffee; Goku ate some plain chocolate.   
The purple-eyed man had just finished to rinse the coffee maker and, seized the little cup in which he had poured the coffee waiting for it to cool down, he was going to return to work, when suddenly he felt two thin but strong arms around his waist, and Goku's little face pressed on his back covered only with a light shirt. The blond stiffened, on his feet near the kitchen's door, with the steaming cup in one hand and the fingers of the other one on the light switch, the hot and soft body of the saru pressed against his.   
  
  
  
"I love you."   
  
  
  
"Leave me immediately." The tone was stentorean, chilly.   
  
  
  
"I love you," he repeated.   
  
  
  
Sanzo turned in Goku's arms to kill the boy with his pinning glare. Goku shook for a moment and nervously lowered his eyes, to then immediately go back staring into Sanzo's purple ones, serious, determined. "I really mean it. I fell in love with you, Sanzo." In spite of the blond's face now at few centimetres from his, of the mesmering glance that was piercing his dephts bringing him out in a cold sweat and the heart by this time close to the total tachycardia, the golden-eyed teen hadn't withdrawn a step, and his arms hadn't moved from their grasp position.   
  
  
  
Sanzo didn't say a word. The eyes shadowed by the bangs and an indescribable face, he laid the cup on the table at his right. "Baka saru" he said placing a hand in Goku's hair and concurrently pushing the kid's head against his own, greedily savouring the warm and youthful taste of those full lips, filling his oral cavity with his avid and insatiable tongue. The other hand had already slipped under Goku's shirt and now was slowly flowing on the naked back of the little saru who was moaning inside his mouth. Sanzo removed the tongue going on kissing the kid's upper lip; then he passed it on it, he made it go down, licked the two lips together with extreme slowness and precision, while the heat of Goku's body was driving him crazy. Goku could do nothing else than moan; now Sanzo had hooked his tongue and had started to lick it as well, his hands were torturing him calmly caressing him everywhere...   
  
  
  
"...Sanzo?" Goku blinked surprised at the older man who, suddenly, had detached and had remained still, in front of him.   
  
  
  
"Go home," he said.   
  
  
  
"I... I did something wrong?"   
  
  
  
"Go back to your home."   
  
  
  
Goku grasped Sanzo's arms clenching tight, "I did something wrong, didn't I? I did an other idiotic thing, right? I know I'm only a stupid and I always do everything wrong. Whatever foolishness I made, I'm very sorry. Please forgive me, please!"   
  
  
  
Sanzo freed himself from the grip and gazed at the desperate kid. "No, you did nothing," he said placing a hand on his forehead. "But, now, go home. And don't you dare trying to disappear again, otherwise I swear I'll come to pick you up and I'll kill you with my own hands, is that understood?"   
  
  
  
Goku closed his eyes and placed between his little hands Sanzo's long and white one which in the meantime had descended on his cheek. "Yes," he said smiling and slightly blushing.   
  
  
  
  
  
_~Death is the first dance, eternal~_   
  
  
  
  
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NOTE: Sorry if I made light of the computer things... but I don't know if it's legal that I write here how to hack MSsql (or Oracle) ^^   
  
And, "konbanwa" means "good evening".   
  
  
Thank you very much to:   
  
**Am1-13th:** Thanks. So you really think suicide is the stupidest thing? Mh... but if there's no solution left what can be done? I can't bear any more, you don't have idea of the pain I feel. As soon as I'll feel a little better I'll e-mail you ok? (If I don't die before)   
  
**Forsaken^On3:** Thank you for having read. I beg your pardon because I'm a hopeless, stupid, idiot, weak and very bad person.   
  
**Bakazaru Boi:** Thank you, you are always so gentle and encouraging. Sorry ne! Oh yes, if I don't kill myself, there will be lots of next chapter. Sorry if I make you wait.   
  
**Namassuki:** Hi Nan, how are you? And your assistants? I'm continuing, I'm continuing (in a way or an other...)   
  
**Mabaroshi16:** Thanks for the compliments. I hope this chap had satisfied you. *bows*   
  
**Rulerofthecows:** Here it is the update. Sorry it took long ne. Please forgive me, please.   
  
**Sorcha:** Hi. Really my story resembles Gravitation? Actually my inspiration had been Apo 0 *really*. Forgive me if I talk difficult. Everyone always tells me that. Please forgive me. (Now that you remind me, it's lots of time that I don't watch Gravi... I'm going to rewatch it so I'll take inspiration ^^)   
  
**Shiroyuki Hikari:** Kon'nichiwa to you. Uh, Gravi again? Ehm, please read what I wrote in the answer of the previous review ne. Thanks for the compliments.   
  
  
  



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